The Grand Haven 5K is next Saturday, and it’s time that I get my ass outside running so I will not choke and die breathing real air. I have completed most of my training on our treadmill in the basement in the wee hours of the morning–5:45am to be exact. Living in GR proper, I do not feel real comfortable running outdoors at that time with my ipod rocking in my ears. And I cannot run any distance without my music, forget it. So, the last week of training, I commit to running after school around my neighborhood and that time is quickly approaching.
So today after dropping off my carpool buddy and getting my back adjusted, I tried to scope out a new outside running route. Last fall’s route was very last minute and a bit frightening. I ended up running the “big block” around my house, which involved running over I-196 via an overpass with no sidewalk lane and through a very abandoned-looking industrial district. I also had to run under the highway on the way back to my house, always wondering if a homeless individual was sleeping at the top and was about to jump me. Never saw anyone, but what else is there to do while running besides worry and sweat? So, a new route it is.
I think I found a decent alternative to the old route–it is all through suburban neighborhood that I have walked with the dog, there are sidewalks (safety first!), and I am more familiar with the area than my previous route. I don’t think it’s quite as long, but sacrifice for safety I will. I don’t need to star on my own personal episode of I Survived retelling my harrowing account of how I was mugged, raped, and left for dead behind a dumpster while running through a deserted industrial park as I trained for a 5K. As they tattoo “STUPID” on my forehead!
This whole 5K has kind-of blown up in my face. Initially, several people said they’d run this, and I was actually asked to do it by a friend who needed some motivation to train for it and felt inspired by me doing it in the fall, so she asked if I’d do it with her. I ran the one in the fall to prove to myself I could do it–I wasn’t terribly interested in keeping it up, but she’s a good friend and I thought, why not? To date, I think everyone has canceled except my fateful carpool buddy–even my girlfriend who needed a motivator is looking like she will bow out gracefully. With my luck, my sidekick will break her foot playing scooter hockey with the kids at school next week and I will be the Lone Run Ranger again. I guess it shouldn’t matter–I’m just racing myself and the stop watch anyway.
That’s not all of it, though. In my heart of hearts, I’m disappointed because it has been a very hard year in many facets of my life, but despite that, I stayed committed to my friends and trained for this run. I would have LOVED to sleep in through the winter, especially in the midst of my why-am-I-taking-all-these-grad-classes-right-now crisis, but I went sleep deprived and dragged my ass onto that treadmill to honor my commitment. I am not in any position to judge anyone–everyone has their reasons, and many, many others have also had a difficult year, but I also can’t help but feel how I do. Let down, I guess. The fall 5K was for me, this one was to help them and be a part of something–I didn’t need this one, this one was for them.
Regardless of my friends’ decisions, I will be at the starting line with my new obnoxiously red-colored ipod arm band in Grand Haven at 9am next Saturday. To quote one of my favorite running tunes: “It’s you against you, it’s the paradox that drives us all.” At the beginning and the end, I’m challenging myself, so the only person that needs to show…is me. The Lone Run Ranger.